Liberty Or Death
by and if I dream
Summary: Percy and Annabeth are the love story everybody envies- with the pain nobody would ever want. Their time to recover from Tartarus is ticking down at the speed the Argo II races for Athens. Before the final battle, they must figure out a way to push away the past or watch the world go down in flames. [Tartarus Aftermath] [Percabeth]
1. Halfway Gone

**Liberty Or Death Chapter One**

 ** _Halfway Gone_**

* * *

They'd made it halfway up the elevator.

Halfway up.

Halfway down.

In between.

Partly alive.

Partly dead.

They were shoving the doors closed as tightly as they possibly could, it was taking hours and years and centuries to reach the top. His arms were shaking as if he'd brought an earthquake down on himself. Across from him, Annabeth's face was gray and grim, the only speck of life swirling angrily in her eyes.

Percy knew his eyes matched hers. He couldn't fail, couldn't leave her to do it by herself. _Not that she isn't capable,_ he thought absently. _Probably a lot better than me._ If he could have forced a laugh past his raw throat, he would have. But the memories were setting in and even though they were leaving all he could see was the endless night. The parts where they burned and parts where they froze. Where he almost killed Akhyls.

That was killing him. He was out of control, destroyed, unstable. He wouldn't be there for Annabeth, he was insane. It was seeping into every part of him, each breath he took reminding him. His throat burned from the fire that they had been drinking. The raw skin on his hands pressed against the door felt like they were still in the river. Percy felt like he was drowning in the river of fire.

His fear of water had returned. If he couldn't control his powers around firewater or poison, then what would he do around actual, clean water? It was torturing him. At that moment, he wanted water more than anything else in the world but he also didn't want it, didn't want it all if he couldn't be safe, if he was too insane, too far gone.

Annabeth's face had told him everything in that one instant he turned back to her after pushing the poison aside. She was scared of him. They'd done everything together and he'd ruined it, destroyed everything, broken them both.

"A bit farther," Annabeth choked out. Their eyes met and his pain multiplied with no ending just seeing her. It was his fault, he'd let her fall, he hadn't been fast enough.

All logic told him otherwise, of course, but logic wasn't exactly something you had coming out of the evil pit of nasty flaming deaths. Or to be brief, hell.

"Yeah," Percy murmured, forcing out the word. It felt like his lips had been glued shut. "Just- just a bit further." _Then I'll be really insane._

The elevator reeked of monster. He probably reeked of monster too, he realized. The doors were shaking uncontrollably, his arms felt like jelly, his legs were collapsing, but he had to stand. He couldn't let Annabeth down. He couldn't ignore the sacrifice they'd been given. The lives lost for their escape. Annabeth stood silently, her eyes wide open like someone had shocked her. He knew exactly why. The exhaustion and emptiness and pain was nothing compared to the terror of sleep, of seeing it all again, of watching the other die as so many of the nightmares had been. Something clicked in the elevator. They had to be almost there. Almost. It was like running a marathon, Percy thought. Make it to that marker and keep going. Make it to that one and keep going. Keep going. Keep going.

Suddenly the air seemed to clear slightly, like they'd crossed some invisible threshold. Breathing didn't hurt quite so much. Percy almost collapsed in the slight absence of pain. He'd become used to it and it was almost more painful. Annabeth took a deep breath too, lip quivering. The elevator clicked again. The doors started to push open against their exhausted arms. A tiny crack appeared and a sulfur stench swept in, surrounding and suffocating them. The elevator bounced slightly, like it was broken, like it was going to drop right back into Tartarus with them inside.

"Hold on," Percy managed to say. It was a mark of their desperation that no sarcastic quip came in response. The floor swayed beneath him and the elevator jolted downwards as the crack opened. He couldn't muster the energy to scream or yell or shout.

They threw all their weight against the door and the gap slimmed. The torch on the back wall flickered, lending an even eerier air to the small space. He shoved the door closed with enough force that his shoulder put a dent in the metal. Ever so slowly, he could feel them creep upwards.

 _Please, please, please,_ he thought. He couldn't gather the energy to actually pray to any god. Annabeth's lips were moving silently, the white of her drakon-bone sword looking even more menacing in the flickering, unfriendly light.

 _A little more._

The floor rumbled and he could hear roaring that seemed to surround the elevator. His eyes shut, as if he could block out what was coming, surely, next-

Annabeth slammed on the door, forcing it closed. There was no way it had been less than ten minutes, no conceivable chance they hadn't been there for at least a millennium. The floor shook again. They lurched upwards and Percy wanted to cry in relief. The air cleared again and he could breathe a little better, but his entire body was screaming and so he could only sip the air. One step at a time.

He choked down a hoarse laugh. If they ever recovered from this, they'd have to go through a ten-thousand step program. But the elevator was going up, they were getting closer, slightly closer, and he could feel the temperature decrease by fractions but it was changing, they were going _home-_

A loud _bang_ shook the side. Screaming and shouts sounded from above them and it felt like all his memories and happiness were being sucked away as their single torch flickered and went out. It sounded like someone was tunneling through stone and Percy opened his mouth to ask Annabeth, to reassure, to do _something_ but he couldn't make a sound-

The elevator banged upwards and slammed to a stop. Black mist swirled around the doors, choking him. He was freezing and he couldn't breathe, the air was thick and poisonous and he couldn't make a sound but he knew Annabeth felt the same thing the way her fingers just barely touched his but tightened and it felt like they were each holding on to the other for dear life.

Then her hand slipped from his as the doors opened and more dark mist filled the elevator, as if it could possibly fit more of anything, more fear, more pain, more exhaustion, more death-

With the loss of his only support, Percy stumbled forwards, reaching wildly for Annabeth's hand before they both fell back to Tartarus. They had failed. It was over. But her hand met his and they somehow hit solid, mercifully solid ground that didn't shake or beat or rumble. Percy shoved himself up with the last bit of his strength, desperately trying to pull them both away from the elevator, away from the pit and the monsters. Annabeth stood too and they both managed to take a few steps away, then a little further, then a little further.

But they both stumbled on an unseen fissure and in his last moments of consciousness he pulled his best friend, his light closer, trying to protect her from one tiny thing before he couldn't anymore. He heard a scream and the sound of metal against metal, the same sound that had been made when Annabeth broke the pit's chains. A cacophony of roars echoed through the now-empty hole behind them as Percy watched the doors disappear and faded into the darkness.


	2. The Blood Unseen

**Liberty Or Death Chapter Two**

 _ **The Blood Unseen**_

* * *

Annabeth fell, landing on Percy's side and then the cold, hard rocks. The dark mist seemed to return to the pit with the elevator and she took one deep, clear breath before her sight, too, turned black.

* * *

Someone was touching her, warm and friendly but it wasn't him, wasn't her better half that she had failed, too cowardly, too weak, too _not enough._ She reached for her sword, forcing open her eyes, but the person backed away instantly. All she could see was the dark ceiling above her head, cracked and craggy and looking like it could fall on them at any moment. Then she felt the vibrations through the floor, someone running, multiple people running towards her and she shot up, hand hovering over an empty crack in the floor for a heartbeat of panic.

Then she was firmly back on solid ground and she tried to shove herself up but she couldn't she didn't have enough strength to make it and the people reached her. A sea of faces that she knew she recognized but couldn't at that moment, reaching out for her, and she wanted a knife _so badly._

"Annabeth?" someone whispered. "Annabeth! You're alive!" Yes! She was alive, she had made it, but why weren't they saying _Annabeth and Percy_ like they always did, because they used to be two halves of the same person? She spun wildly and there he was, hand touching hers but eyes shut and face pale. But his eyes were still closed, why wasn't he awake yet, that _stupid_ Seaweed Brain, _wake up,_ he had to-

Then his chest rose and fell, rose and fell, and she nearly collapsed in relief but instead leaned over and brushed a hand down the side of his face. _Please wake up, please wake up, please wake up._ Then he did, eyes opening to reveal that all-too-familiar ocean but as if someone had frozen it and shattered it and did her eyes look like that too?

"Percy," she whispered, barely breathing, and he stared at her for a heart-stopping moment before pushing himself up just like she had but keeping his hand clutched tightly in hers. His fingers were freezing but she didn't care, _he was alive._ They both stood, leaning against each other for support and the people surrounding them raced forwards, crying or laughing or both and clutching at her arms and shouting and it was almost too much. Then like a sudden rush she recognized the faces, the people hugging them and helping them stumble away from the hole back to Tartarus.

There was Hazel, and Frank, then Nico looking relatively happy, too, and their eyes met and she nodded her silent thanks. Leo was leading the way back to safer ground with his hands alight in flames and Jason was next to Percy then finally Piper standing at her shoulder behind Hazel. After what seemed like an eternity but she knew was only a few steps, twenty feet at most, they stopped.

A swirl of noise surrounded her and she stepped closer to Percy then people were reaching for them again and Nico had shouldered his way into the group, standing in front of her and grasping her wrist tightly. Then he closed his eyes and they were racing through a dark forest, no, it was Tartarus but she couldn't scream, couldn't cry, then they swooped up the elevator and stopped. Percy's hand was squeezing hers like she was the last link to life as the bright sunlight filled her vision and the soft green grass beneath them crumpled as she fell. _Yet again,_ her mind whispered, and Annabeth tried to make herself stand back up, she couldn't make Percy do it for her, but he slipped down next to her.

"Let them sit," someone said. Then gasped. "Leo, Jason, first-aid kit _now._ " Annabeth almost smiled at the tone, it had to be Piper, but then she wondered what was so worrying, what was so terrifying about them. She spun to face Percy first, _he had to be okay,_ and their eyes met again, full of pain but he had to be okay, he was still alive, still awake. Then she glanced down. The green grass was turning red underneath them and she couldn't tell what was causing it in the maze of pain. Jason and Leo had come back with armfuls of bandages, ambrosia, and nectar. Jason fell to his knees in front of them and handed her a small bottle of nectar. She yanked the cap off with her free hand and took a sip, the cool liquid tasting like absolutely nothing as it slipped down her throat. But she felt no relief from the pain as she passed it to Percy, who drank the other half without looking at it.

"Better?" Hazel asked, hand visibly shaking as she took the bottle from Percy. _No,_ Annabeth said silently. But they both nodded. Someone wrapped a bandage around her arm, from her wrist to halfway to her shoulder and suddenly some of the blood flow dripping onto the ground stemmed. She watched absently as Leo's quick hands wove another bandage across Percy's thigh, which had a huge gash across the front.

"We can't do anything for your back here, Perce," Jason said, scaring her with his deadly serious tone. She leaned backwards and saw that the most of her boyfriend's back was covered in half-healed wounds or burns from the curse. Nico had disappeared again but she saw him in the distance with two others by- was that the Athena Parthenos?- then the trio melted into the shadows.

"They're gone," Frank reported. "Let's go." Piper pulled her up and Percy scrambled to grab her hand again. Then they were off, slowly, so slowly, towards the Argo resting on top of a hill. Leo ran ahead and lowered the ramp and they limped up it like war heroes, instead of war failures that had slowed down the entire mission, nearly ruined their chances, nearly gotten the others killed. Then the gangplank rose back into the ship, the motors turned on, and they rose into the air, too slowly but also too quickly. Annabeth's knees nearly buckled but she refused to fall. Their worst injuries were yet invisible and she was not about to reveal them.


	3. And Miles To Go Before We Sleep

**Liberty Or Death Chapter Three**

 _ **And Miles To Go Before We Sleep**_

* * *

The others were creeping around him like water in front of a ship's bow. He and Annabeth both leaned against the side of the ship, as far from the others as they could get. Now, not only did he terrify her, he scared everyone else too.

Percy's leg was still bleeding and his back still raw. He hadn't let anyone bandage his back. If she was going to stand there next to him, pain that was _his_ fault, terror that he _caused_ written across her face, he could stand there with a little blood, a little more life seeping out. It was only fair, he figured. Only even. If he couldn't heal her, she shouldn't have to heal him.

"Percy?" someone whispered behind him. He spun wildly, reaching for Riptide with the hand not clutching hers. Frank leapt back at the sudden movement.

 _I'm going to kill someone,_ his mind whispered. _I'm insane and I'm going to kill someone._

"Yeah?" he said weakly, tucking the sword back in his pocket.

"You're sort of… bleeding. A lot." Frank gestured at the droplets of crimson surrounding his feet, wincing slightly as if Percy was going to hit him.

Then the panic again. The sudden, sharp tear in his chest like he'd been stabbed and the _memories,_ the _awful_ memories came to the forefront and then he was swimming in a river of fire, no, he was drowning, he's drowning-

Then he _wasn't_ but it was worse because he's watching Annabeth die, burning in a river, and he's reaching for her hand desperately but she shrinks back because he's _terrifying_ and they're broken, he's broken, and nothing he can do helps-

And in the absolute fear, the all-consuming pain and horror, but the _anger_ , most of all, that she's _dying,_ for the gods' sakes and there is absolutely nothing and judging by her face, frantically bobbing on the surface, she'd rather _die_ then have him save her-

"Percy," someone whispered in his ear. Then the nightmares stopped but he was never asleep. "Percy, come on." The same feathery-light voice that he's hearing in his nightmares because in all of them he's watched her die and she doesn't want to be saved by _him._ "Percy," Annabeth whispered again. He opened his eyes and he wasn't there, he was still alive, on the Argo and she was still by his side.

Frank reached out a hand with a small bag. "Just ambrosia. Just to help… help stop the bleeding." And thank the gods he added the second part of that sentence because nothing can help Percy except Annabeth but he was terrified that she was terrified of him. Annabeth stretched out a somehow steady hand and the small bag, handing him a square of the golden-brown food

"Thanks," Percy managed to say. Frank nodded.

"Yeah. Um, do you want to stay out here or go down below or..." The question trailed off like a breeze unfurling a flag.

"We'll stay," Annabeth said firmly. "We'll be okay." The fact that she was so convinced, so sure that maybe they would survive this almost scared him. _We'll be okay._

"Okay. If you need anything, you know, just yell." Then Frank hurried off like being around them was poisonous and it probably _was,_ just the air of pain and fear and death, a mantra Percy had repeated a thousand times. _Just pain, just fear,_ but there was no justifying death. He couldn't leave Annabeth alone and he wouldn't survive if she died.

Percy turned back to the open air, not knowing where they were headed or caring. Just as long as it was far away from that elevator, the Doors of Death, the bloodstains on the park and the ones in his mind.

"Annabeth," he choked out. Her grey eyes met his and they were shattered, frozen and smashed with their memories. She handed him the small square of ambrosia, a tiny piece missing. Percy carefully took it, snapped it in half, and with a meaningful look pressed it into her hand. She wasn't going to sacrifice herself for him. _If we're sacrificing anyone, I'll be first,_ he thought. Then he shoved the godly food down his throat, swallowing it before the dry, empty taste could overwhelm him.

"Does it taste empty to you, too?" Annabeth asked, her tone more curious than worried. Percy gulped down the crumbs, feeling barely any relief from the pain, despite the decrease in the amount of blood flowing down his leg and back.

"Yeah, yeah, it does," he said softly.

"The nectar, too," Annabeth said, as if it was all normal, as if nothing had gone so horribly wrong with them even the food of the gods couldn't really fix it. "I'm not really surprised. We were in hell." And that word, too, _hell,_ conveyed a far more appropriate meaning as far as Percy was concerned. _Tartarus_ isn't something you could tell a mortal and have them understand. It wasn't universal, it wasn't quite scary enough.

But hell? That pretty much summed it up.

"Ow," Annabeth muttered, clutching his hand tightly. He took a deep breath as the all-to-familiar figures danced at the edges of his sight.

 _He couldn't panic. Not now. Couldn't leave her to fend for herself or worse, for the both of them. He had to stop them, had to push away the memories, had to find a temporary freedom._

"Gods, Annabeth, what's wrong?" he asked, the pitch of his voice rising. _Breathe._ "What's wrong?"

"Ankle," she mumbled, leaning her body into him. He stroked her hair absently, the soft gold catching the light and far more brilliant than any of the bronze surrounding him. "Gods, that _hurts,_ " she breathed, so softly he almost didn't hear her.

"Are you okay? What can I do?" he asked desperately. "Please, Annabeth, please-"

"Drama queen," she whispered against his t-shirt. He smiled slightly. If she could make sarcastic quips, she had to be okay. _Right?_

"C'mon, we'll go sit down or something," Percy said against her hair. It didn't smell of lemons and ice and flowers anymore and it was dirty and burned but he still thought it was beautiful, that she was beautiful. Annabeth nodded and grabbed his hand more tightly as they made their way slowly to the hatch at the stern, which opened at the touch of a button.

"Stairs," Annabeth said. "Okay, hold on, just- I've got it. I've got it." Percy shook his head. He wasn't about to let her fall, to watch her tumble away again but this time without him and maybe he was being a little dramatic, they were just stairs but they were too real, too similar-

He scooped her up in his arms and carefully wove down the spiral staircase, feeling the eyes of the others burning into his back. But no one followed and he set er down at the bottom of the stairs gently, weaving their fingers together.

"I could've done that by myself," she protested, limping down the hallway towards the stables.

"I couldn't watch you fall," he whispered and her eyes shone, overly damp.

"You've saved me a million times," Annabeth said quietly. "But thank you." She pushed open the doors to the stables and they both carefully skirted the edge of the bay doors. He knew exactly why.

The threat of falling was all too real. A tiny mistake- a tiny thing _he could have prevented-_ had taken them to Tartarus. But if someone accidentally hit a button or slipped the wrong way, the doors would open and they would be lost again, this time permanently.

Because even if they landed in the middle of the ocean, he couldn't save them for fear of killing her instead. He could die, but he'd failed her too many times to be the cause of her last breath. Too many times to watch her die, instead of the other way around. And just thinking about that moment on the cliff made all the horrors come rushing back, but he refused to fall again.

They dropped to the floor on the opposite side of the room, facing the doorway and weapons at their sides. Percy uncapped Riptide and set the sword down, letting the bronze glow brighten the darkening space. Outside the bay doors, they were flying so high that he could see the beginnings of a sunset forming. It had to be late.

"What time is sunset here?" he asked, wrapping an arm around Annabeth. She turned to gape at him slightly before answering.

"In summer, around eight-thirty."

"Unless..." he trailed off. _Unless you're about a million miles underground._

"We haven't seen a sunset in… two weeks?" Annabeth said, echoing his thoughts.

"More like eternity," he murmured, staring out at the spreading pinks and oranges. Annabeth sighed and curled further into his side. He wanted to cry. It was so normal, so not _now_ , that it shocked him.

"Don't let me fall asleep," she said, voice muffled. He could feel her tensing against him, every muscle tight. It felt like she was retreating from him, running, that somehow he'd done something so incredibly cruel and evil that she was completely _gone._

"I'm here," he reassured her, and perhaps himself too. "I'm here, we're alive, we'll be okay-" Annabeth uncurled from his side and sat up straight, wrapping her warm around his neck.

"I know you're here," she said, locking her gaze to his and the intensity in her eyes jolted him back to complete wakefulness, but the brokenness making him want to protect her forever and never let go even though she didn't need him anymore, not after everything he'd done, how could she need _him_?

"I know you're here," she repeated. "Percy, _I know._ But the memories don't know, the pain doesn't know..." He nodded and she leaned forwards slightly, meeting him in the middle with a soft, sweet kiss.

"I'll make sure," he said, her shattered-glass eyes causing him physical pain. They still glowed with the same grey brilliance as _before_ but it was like staring into a swirling pool of pain that he would much rather bear himself than watch her have to. Annabeth was the one that had saved them in Tartarus, she was the reason they were still alive, she shouldn't have to bear anything for saving the person that failed her time and time again-

His thoughts were silenced when she kissed him softly again.

"Stop torturing yourself," she ordered. "I know you are, Percy."

"Annabeth, I've failed you, I let you fall, it's my fault we ended up down there-" he babbled wildly. He was practically gasping for air, chest heaving with the weight of his confession, even though it was open for anyone to read.

"Oh," she whispered, voice barely audible in the silent room. "Oh, Percy, no, if anything it's my fault." Then and there he wanted to take her in his arms and save her from himself, rescue her from his personal coming storm that built inside him like a hurricane. It wasn't fair that she had to do this too, bear the weight of the world when she'd already done it once-

"Don't let me sleep, Percy," Annabeth murmured, leaning across his lap. "Don't let me..."


	4. The Invisible Realities

**Liberty Or Death Chapter Four**

 _ **The Invisible Realities**_

* * *

"Annabeth?" someone was saying over the screaming in her head. "Annabeth!" The person shook her shoulder and she blearily opened her eyes, dripping with tears over her face flushed red. Percy was above her, her head resting on his lap and she shot up, not wanting to hurt his leg or keep him from sleeping. But he reached out an arm and pulled her back closer, keeping her from choking on her memories, from dying from something invisible but oh so real. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I didn't mean- I didn't want to let you fall asleep, I'm sorry!" Percy, her best friend, her better half, the strongest person she knew was blaming himself for _her_ shortcomings, her mistakes and she wanted to cry but she couldn't be weak, not for him, for him she had to be strong.

"It's okay," she whispered back. "Did I wake you up?" He shook his head but Annabeth could tell otherwise from the way he leaned against the wall behind him and how he was impossibly warm and comforting. "Yes, I did. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you take care of me, Percy, it's okay, you can rest." _Rest,_ she repeated, rolling the word on her tongue. Not _sleep,_ not the thing that brought it all back, all the times she'd made him protect her when he needed to care of himself, the times he'd nearly died for her, the times he could have been faster without her. She panicked again, trying _so hard_ not to scream, not to cry, not to disturb the others or Percy any more than she already had. The _arai_ were standing in front of her again, then she was blind and her weaknesses had chased him away, he wasn't coming back for her-

"Annabeth," Percy mumbled in her ear. She unconsciously reached out for him, grabbing his hand tightly and he pulled her close. She couldn't make him do this, couldn't make him protect her forever and almost pushed away before her hugged her even more tightly. "No, don't leave," he whispered. Annabeth sighed softly, leaning against him with the tears still silently falling and the terror still reigning in her head. The ship shuddered slightly under their bodies and they both leapt up, hands twined together as they raced to the door. Annabeth could feel the ship descending and it was too much like falling again, the darkness below the glass floor like tumbling through the earth all over again as the ship sped up and arrowed to the ground. Finally they made it through the doorway and she nearly collapsed with the pain from her ankle but they kept going, hurrying up to the deck. She had to know why they were falling, why they were headed down into the earth again, why they had escaped only to go back-

The deck was lit with a single lamp by Leo's station and pale moonlight. Leo stood at the console, hair flying back in the breeze of the ship's passage as they kept diving, the shp angled just enough that their hurried pace along the seemingly endless deck hurt her lungs to the point where it felt like she was burning again but she matched Percy's pace, she wouldn't make him slow for her again-

"Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Leo called, hands raised as he stepped into their way. "What's wrong?" She wanted to leap for him and punch him, he had to know _exactly_ what was wrong and why wasn't he panicking too? Why wasn't the whole world terrified, why were they the only ones that did this, sprinting in the middle of the night over a tiny change and wanting to attack their friends, why were they the ones that did?

"The ship's going down!" Percy said, as if it should be wildly obvious what the problem was because it _was,_ they were falling again and this time they were bringing everyone else with them. Leo took one look at them, his eyes meeting Annabeth's and drawing back at what was contained in them. Then he seemed to realize in a heartbeat and leaned over to his station, grabbing a white controller and tipping it up. The ship leveled out.

"Better?" he asked quietly, studying them. Annabeth was trying _so hard_ not to let the panic show, not to let her chest heave or breath quicken or tears form. She had to be strong. But she nodded.

"Just- just a little warning next time?" Percy joked halfheartedly, his fingers tightening on hers to the point of pain.

"Yeah," Leo nodded, and Annabeth could see his own fears. His realizations that the supposed leaders were also completely insane, panicked at the mere sensation of the ship descending. _I've ruined it,_ she thought blankly. _If I hadn't fallen, he wouldn't have fallen, and then we wouldn't have stopped everyone, slowed them down, we wouldn't be scaring them all in the middle of the night for absoutely no reason._

"Well," she choked out, hoping her voice didn't sound as rough as it did in her head. "Thanks, Leo."

"Yeah… yeah, 'night. We'll stay up here for the night," he said. She and Percy turned, hurrying back to the stairs, spinning down them and stopping at the bottom.

"My cabin," Percy said quickly before they could both realize that they had no idea where to go. Annabeth nodded and followed him, slipping through the door into his room, exactly how it had been left. Percy slumped onto the blue sheets and she sat cross-legged at the head of the bed, facing the doorway. She forced her eyes open, refusing to slip into the soft call of sleep hiding the terror underneath it. He could sleep and she would stay awake for him.

* * *

Someone was knocking, the _thump-thump-thump_ reminding her of a heartbeat going at a million miles an hour like hers had all too often recently. She shook Percy's shoulder and he shot up, the little sleep he had gotten making him look worse, not better. _Thump-thump, thump-thump_ , the person knocked again, the dull sound echoing in the small space. Annabeth softly put her feet on the floor and padded to the door, pushing the lock over and opening it.

"Just wanted to let you know there's food out," Hazel said, her hair still frizzy from what had to be a far more restful night than Annabeth's own. "If- if you want." Percy appeared at her shoulder, resting his chin on top of her head.

"Yeah, we'll come," Annabeth said, not wanting to to seem ungrateful or worse, to give off the appearance of being even weaker than they already knew she was. Hazel nodded and disappeared down the hallway. They followed.

* * *

The room went silent when they entered before Piper hastily tried to resume conversation with Frank. They'd left two seats open for them, Percy's usual spot at the head of the table and her own directly to his right. The smell of food nauseated her, especially the whiff of smoke from the kitchen. It was all too similar to the Phlegethon, the fiery river's awful heat and horrible burnt taste. Annabeth nearly gagged, the rising bile in her throat choking her, robbing her of air as she sat down, still clutching Percy's hand like a lifeline. The others kept glancing at the two of them, their broken harmony, shattered duet, as they ate, and she couldn't miss the looks. Someone passed her a plate of food, pankcakes, piled neatly up in a wiggling stack that threatened to tip as she grasped the warm rim of the plate. The pancakes were a normal golden instead of the blue they'd always been before they fell and the mere thought nearly made her scream.

Every one of them had thought she and Percy dead. Gone, disappeared, completely over. And she was the cause, the reason they weren't already home and safe, it was _her_ fault, _her_ weakness that had caused it. Her inability to fight for herself, to be a worthwhile member of the team, to find her own way without dragging them all down with her-

With a loud _crash_ the platter of pancakes slipped from her damp, trembling fingers, sending Percy's plate flying off the table. The room was dead silent. And as she slipped into the burning yet freezing darkness of her memories, all she wanted to do was run, run so they would never have to deal with her weakness again.

 _The screech of the arai pierced what passed for air in Tartarus and her vision went black and she was stumbling towards the edge of an invisible clif-_

 _Percy was gone, he was gone and she was alone, alone because she was weak, she deserved to be left there, in the darkness and the pain because it was her fault in the first place-_

 _She was watching as Bob carried Percy through hell, the bloodstains on his clothes darkening in the flaming light and he was dying, no, he was dead, and it was all her fault._


	5. In The Same Breath

**Liberty Or Death Chapter Five**

 _ **In The Same Breath**_

* * *

"Sorry," Annabeth mumbled into his hair, arms wrapped around his waist. They were sitting on the deck, watching Festus creak and blow fire as they, slowly and stately, descended towards the Ionian Sea. The breezes wafting off the surface of the water gave Percy room to breathe, the familiar salty scent relaxing him just slightly.

"Not your fault," he said, his voice carrying on the breeze. "I should have known, I should have done something to help..." Percy started choking up and trailed off, fingers drumming on his thighs but avoiding the long gash that was still leaking the occasional droplet of blood.

Annabeth sighed heavily, leaning into his side. "No, I can't expect you to be there for me all the time." Percy wanted to scream _But that's exactly what I want to do! I want to be there for you!_ Instead, he simply grasped her hand tightly, as if the tighter he held on, the less chance there was of the nightmares and horrors to emerge again. The sun beat down on them relentlessly, but he still felt cold.

"Coming in for a landing!" Leo yelled across the deck. "Whoo-hoo!" Festus, in front of them, creaked appreciatively and blew fire as they settled with a small _bump_ onto the surface of the sea, steam rising where the flames hit the water. It reminded him of the Death Mist, the way it curled around the bronze dragon and made its way towards them, drifting along the boat with the wind. The pale white cloud engulfed him and he forced himself to breathe, in and out, in and out, as droplets of water coalesced on his skin. But the cloud quickly dissipated and when he looked over at Annabeth, she still resembled a living person instead of a corpse, pale and skeletal. Percy breathed in deeply, the sea air filling his lungs, and tried not to panic.

 _Water._ The thing that had kept him alive so many times, something that was as much a part of him as blood or bones. It felt as if it was killing him from the inside out. He hadn't had a thing to drink except for the ambrosia since they'd left Tartarus.

"I'll… I'll be right back," he said, pushing himself up and wandering to the railing. Feet below him, waves crashed against the hull, breaking in a spray of foam and just barely rocking the huge ship. Percy clenched the railing so hard it turned his hands pale, willing himself not to panic. Not to panic and destroy the ship, or drown the crew, or hurt anyone at all. In reaction, the waves lessened, merely lapping at the hull, the soft sound peaceful. His hands started shaking at the realization that he was controlling the water.

" _Some things aren't meant to be controlled," Annabeth said, voice broken, grey eyes swimming with misty tears. Then she ran, stumbling perilously close to the cliff's edge, through the poison and flowers, until she tripped, skidding sideways, screaming. A scream that was haunting, hollow, and gradually dropped off as she fell._

"I'm here," someone was whispering. The dark mist faded from his vision and Percy could see the sparkling sea again and the glittery shattered eyes of Annabeth, her smaller hand cupped over his on the railing. "What- what happened?" she asked, her voice faltering.

Percy took a deep breath, taking her hand and tracing patterns on the back. _Flowers. Giants. Doors. Monsters._ "You fell," he said shortly, hands trembling as he continued making invisible lines on her skin. "You fell and you were screaming and the mist-" He shuddered, reaching his free hand over the railing and watching as the spray seemed to jump into his outstretched fingers.

Annabeth must have realized what part of their journey he meant. "Oh," she said quietly. "Oh, Percy." But she couldn't say anything more, merely staring out to the sea. He could feel her hand tensing under his fingers, the tendons tightening. "You know," she added, a slight catch in her voice. "Whatever happens, Percy, I love you." _Whatever happens,_ as if he'd already lost her. _Whatever happens,_ as if she was dead. _Whatever happens,_ as if he scared her again, she'd be gone.

"I love you too," he whispered desperately. He couldn't lose her, not now; not as they barely were touching the bright sky again, barely escaping the endless darkness, if not the prints it had left behind.

The water splashed more violently, the sounds startling Percy. He willed himself to calm, to stop controlling the water and stop controlling the poison, to stop before he watched it all crash down again. He walled off his mind, trying to push the memories behind a barrier, but they refused to disappear, instead coming back with a vengeance.

" _Promise me," he was yelling above the world crashing down around him. "Promise me, Nico!" Then they were falling endlessly, every moment amplified until it took centuries._

 _They hit the river and he was barely controlling it, barely bending the wave of misery to his will, and there was Annabeth, crying, staring at him imploringly and begging him to stop, to stop, don't try, and he did because who was he to refuse?_

 _Then he_ _was watching her blond hair, fanned out in the water as they were swept downstream in a river of hopelessness._

A wave splashed his face, soaking through his clothes and leaving him shivering. Percy could feel the power of the ocean building, gathering around him in a giant storm that left the ship rocking from side to side as the gradually larger waves hit the hull.

"Deep breath," Annabeth said, staring at him imploringly. "Relax. Relax." He followed her instructions, but instead of calming him the worry in her face made him even more panicky, even more desperate, and the waves continued building, thumping steadily against the hull, splashing over the rails. "Percy, let go." He could hear his breath whooshing in his ears, every beat of his heart echoing inside his head.

More waves. Stronger waves. Now the ship was being battered, the sun above belying the furor of the water.

Misery and helplessness and rivers of pain and murder and he was controlling it all again, watching the poison splash and the flames spin in his cupped hands and the black water, the freezing black water, whispering in his ears _let go, let go, let go._

"Oh, gods, Percy!" Annabeth was practically yelling. "Stop!" Her voice and her fear broke through the barriers in his mind and the water all around fell suddenly as he crumpled onto the bench, trying not to cry.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry," he chanted, punctuating each apology with a gasp. "Didn't mean to scare you, sorry, sorry, sorry," he repeated, as if he was two again, having just shattered his mother's new coffee mug.

Annabeth hugged him, pulling him close. "It's okay," she whispered. But she didn't say what he wanted to hear, that she wasn't scared, that he _hadn't_ just pushed her to the edge, to the point where they weren't _PercyandAnnabeth_ and said in the same breath but rather _Percy or Annabeth._

"Sorry," he said again into her hair. Annabeth tilted her head back and kissed him gently, her lips tasting of sea air and mint.

"We're okay," she murmured. "We're okay." The sun glittered on the water again, the gentle lapping of the waves finally relaxing Percy just barely. He stared out over the water again, watching, looking for any deviation in the calm sea, any difference that could mean _danger._

"I don't want to be afraid of myself," he whispered, not wanting anyone but her to hear. "I can't protect you like that, I can't protect anyone."


	6. If The Whole World Were Black and White

_**Liberty Or Death Chapter Six**_

 _ **If The Whole World Were Black and White**_

* * *

Annabeth fingered the sword at her side. It glowed in the dim of her cabin, but it didn't glow like normal Celestial Bronze. It looked like a skull that had been illuminated, which, she reminded herself, it practically was. Percy was leaning in the desk chair, flicking the little lever that made it move up and down. Normally, the constant clicking would have irritated her, but now it was almost soothing, like a reminder that he was there.

But she didn't want him to be. She didn't want Percy to have to sit there and watch her recover, oh-so-slowly, if she ever did, while he could get on with his life. Fight a war, be a hero, do something on his own. He was more than capable of it and she felt horrible for holding him back. After all, it was her fault they fell and her fault that he had to poison Akhlys and _her fault_ that everything had happened.

Her ankle twinged painfully and she took in a sharp breath. No injury she'd ever had had bothered her as long as the ones from Tartarus. Her ankle was definitely the worst.

"What's wrong?" Percy asked, hurrying over and joining her on the bed. Annabeth shook her head and sucked back a gasp as another jolt of pain lanced through her.

"Nothing," she said, turning so she could lie against the pillows. Percy mirrored her, grasping her hand gently and tugging her closer.

"Something is wrong," he said easily, planting a soft kiss on her hair. She curled into him, the salty scent that always surrounded him comforting her.

"I'm fine," she insisted, trying to force away the all too real memories. But she couldn't keep them out entirely and flickers of them ran through her mind.

Falling. Her ankle breaking with a horrible crack and then falling again and again and again.

Percy's face as he protected her, green eyes iridescent in the dim as she cowered to the side, unable to do anything at all to help.

 _Failing. Failing. Failing. You failed,_ she told herself. _You nearly got him killed when he didn't do a thing to deserve any of it._

"Stop," Percy said softly. Annabeth blinked furiously, keeping back the tears. She'd gone and hurt him again, hurt him again and again and eventually, she'd do something there was no recovering from. He'd die and she'd be all alone and the world would end because not in any life could he die, never, he couldn't, but at this rate she'd be the one to kill him. And all she wanted was Percy but she had to protect him. She had to make up for her failure. Failures, one after another so quickly that not a single person could possibly count them all,

He stared at her gently, squeezing her hand and tugging her closer. Annabeth let out a breath she didn't realize she'd been holding and it rattled slightly, the sound of defeat. Percy leaned over and kissed her and gods, that boy would be the death of her.

But all she could do was cling to him desperately as he pulled back, smirking.

"See? You can't think about what happened now, can you?" he asked, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

Annabeth shook her head. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Let's go do something," she offered. Maybe if they went outside, worked, anything, they'd be better. A little bit better. Percy's confidence scared her. He seemed to know exactly what would happen and of course he would, because he was Percy and he still had a brain and some form of logic that didn't lead to getting dumped in the deepest pits of hell, like hers had.

"Alright," he said, taking her hand and standing. Annabeth opened the door quietly, hoping to avoid waking anyone up. Lights peeked around the edge of Leo's door. She could hear quiet voices that sounded like Hazel and Frank from another cabin, but she couldn't make out what they were saying. The engine thumped steadily under her feet and it was all she could do to not run.

Annabeth's nails bit into her palms as the ship rolled gently under her feet. The floor thrummed with life and energy. The sound of the engine seemed to echo in her mind.

Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump.

 _Thump. Thump. Thump. Thump._

" _It's getting louder," Percy whispered. The beat of the pit's heart filled her ears as they started sprinting over the pitted ground. They were running towards the doors, not too far away, she could see them-_

" _Annabeth!" Percy screamed. His voice faded quickly as she came to a sharp halt at the edge of a cliff. Percy's body lay on the rocks below, like Luke, only he hadn't survived the fall._

 _Thump. Thump. Thump._

No. No. She couldn't panic. She couldn't. She'd hurt him, she'd hurt Percy, she couldn't panic.

She was going insane and there was absolutely nothing to stop her.

"Annabeth?" Percy asked, leading her towards the stairway. His hand was warm and soothing and his tone even, but she could hear the tension after knowing him for so long.

"Sorry," she whispered back in the darkness. They started climbing the stairs and her ankle flickered with pain. It seemed like the spiral staircase would never end- as if it would just keep going and going and going.

"Sorry for what?" asked Percy after a moment. Annabeth sucked in a sudden breath. They'd be here all night if she tried to explain.

"For getting confused," she said quickly, running her hand up the smooth railing for support. "That's all."

She could smell the sea breeze above them now and she took the last few steps onto the deck. It was a smooth expanse of polished wooden boards and glittering bronze. Several masts stood at attention in a straight, even row. A second stairway led to Leo's helm. Small puffs of smoke jetted from Festus' nostrils as he creaked and clanked to face them.

"Hi, Festus," Annabeth said dully. The dragon's ruby eyes whirled and he went back to staring out over the ocean. Not even the metal dragon wanted to be around her. Two small figures stood at the helm, one holding the wheel, hair whipping in the breeze. The second, Jason, had his sword out. It glittered in a band of moonlight. She didn't know if they'd been spotted yet.

The ocean rocked the ship gently, like a baby's cradle. Had her dad rocked her when she was little? She couldn't remember. She sank down against the rails and Percy seemed to magically appear beside her. Suddenly, he winced and sat bolt upright.

"What's wrong? Percy, what's wrong?" she asked, tracing a hand over his back. The bandages were thick and soft, but they felt damp under her hand. When he didn't answer, she panicked. Everything was wrong, it all was wrong because Percy was never supposed to be hurt and his eyes weren't supposed to be shattered and he wasn't supposed to this thin and for the gods' sakes, the best person in the entire world was never supposed to have to walk through hell.

"Percy!" she said again. No. No, he was okay. He was fine. He was fine, it was her that was insane, she was making all of this up, it was just a dream, a horrible nightmare as a red stain dripped onto the deck and stained her jeans. Percy's eyes closed suddenly and he fell and no, no, she couldn't lose him now, they had so much more, he had so much more-

She felt as if the ship was trembling, like someone had switched the button for an earthquake, but the only thing shaking was her. And why, why had he fallen and why wasn't he awake and why was no one there to help? It was a bad dream, it had to all be a nightmare, but she could smell the sea and hear the engine's thrum and the wind ruffled her hair. Percy trembled with cold as the puddle of blood spread. It looked silvery in the moonlight. Everything looked silvery, like her whole world had gone black and white and the only thing she could see in color were his eyes but they were closed, they'd been closed for _so long._


	7. A Deal With An Angel

**_Liberty Or Death Chapter Seven_**

 ** _A Deal With An Angel_**

* * *

He was frozen, glued to the deck while shadows loomed around him. All Percy could feel was a pool of some sort of liquid under his back and the cool breeze.

But the breeze suddenly turned into hot, still air carrying the smell of smoke and burning flesh. Jets of flame shot off the surface of a river to his right and the ground gave under his feet as he ran for his life. From what, he wasn't quite sure. Something- no, multiple somethings- roared. They were on top of him, he couldn't run-

The image flickered and changed. Wisps of mist drifted off his arms. He was moving oh-so-slowly and something was chasing him again. Annabeth was miles ahead, running for her life too, but a giant leapt from behind a rock and brought a club down on her head. She crumpled with a scream of agony and he couldn't move anymore, not as he watched the giant pick up her body, not as the monster coming for him raked a claw down his spine. All he could do was watch in silent terror as her blonde hair disappeared into the reddish fog, as blood ran freely down the golden strands and dripped onto the ground before disappearing in a puffs of smoke. He was in absolute agony, but nothing compared to the pain of watching her die.

Suddenly the hot air was gone and he was freezing, trembling with the cold. Someone was crying. A pair of teardrops fell on his skin. A shaking hand ran over his arm gently while the deck underneath him thrummed with footsteps. He could hear the panic and tension in their voices, gradually getting louder and louder, but he couldn't make out a single word.

"Percy!" a familiar voice cried. "Percy, you have to wake up, please wake up, you have to…" Another tear fell on him as a pair of hands gently lifted his shoulders. The person sniffled like they were trying to hold back sobs. Someone held him upright while the bandages on his back were unwound, but he still couldn't see and he had to be insane to be imagining this. He had to be okay. It was just a nightmare. A harmless nightmare. Just open your eyes, his mind whispered, but he couldn't, he couldn't open them at all.

Then smooth liquid was running down his throat, but it tasted like sawdust. He tried to push away the flask of nectar, but before he could it was gone. Soft bandages wrapped around him once more, accompanied by a pair of warm arms.

"Percy," someone said again and he suddenly recognized the voice. "Percy, wake up, please," Annabeth repeated. "You have to wake up."

Her voice was tight with worry and pain. Somehow, it made him realize that his back was in agony and his eyes flew open.

"Oh, thank gods," Annabeth whispered. Silhouettes surrounded him in the darkness. All he could discern was the glint of moonlight on metal and blonde hair.

"Ow," Percy muttered, running his hand carefully over the gauze. Even through the thick bandage, he could count his ribs. The bandage felt like a warm hug, except his back was screaming in pain. He clenched his fist so tightly he was sure blood would be running down his palms.

"Let's go down to the infirmary," someone said. A swarm of murmuring surrounded him. Percy gasped as a white-hot lance shot through his back again. It felt like something was ripping out his spine. Several hands pulled him upright and he wavered like a leaf in the wind. The voices of his friends melded together, spinning and swirling until his head ached. People helped him down the stairs, then into a soft bed in the ship's hospital. The sheer number of personalities made him tense and he wanted to force them all away. Away, away, away, the faster the better, and he didn't know why. He didn't know anything, anymore. Annabeth perched on the edge of his bed and ran her hand gently through his hair, face blotchy, but she didn't let a tear fall.

The others filed out, only the soft click of the door and Piper's breezy shampoo reminders of their presence. Annabeth's warm hand squeezed his. Percy took one deep breath before wincing as his back screamed a protest. He tried to push himself upright, but he simply couldn't. He hated it, lying there like an invalid, taking tiny sips of air to avoid the pain, to avoid everything.

"You blacked out on deck," Annabeth whispered. His heart clenched at the uncertainty in her voice. She took a shuddering breath, settling next to him on the bed. "You blacked out," she repeated. Percy held up one edge of the sheet, inviting her to sit next to him. He couldn't stand seeing her like this, so unsure, so lifeless. "And… And I didn't know." Her voice broke as he tucked the thin, soft sheet around them, ignoring the pain for a minute. Annabeth's warm body fit perfectly next to him. She turned on her side so she faced him. Moonlight from a porthole illuminated her features, casting half in shadow and half in light. One grey eye sparkled, the other looked like onyx. Percy brushed a blond hair from her face.

"I didn't know what to do," she whispered, running a hand over her tired face. He caught it and laced his fingers with hers, placing their hands between them on the narrow bed. Equidistant from their hearts, dark against the white sheets. _White sheets were a bad idea,_ he mused _. Too much blood._

"It's okay," he said, running a thumb over her hand. "My fault." _My fault. My fault. Everything is my fault._ The words sounded like a staccato heartbeat in his head. Shadows loomed in the cool room, washing over them like wraiths.

"No, it's not okay," she insisted. "What if no one was there? What if I was completely alone and I didn't do anything and you died? Because of me, Percy, you would die." Annabeth sniffed again and shifted closer. Her socked feet were soft against Percy's calves as he exhaled softly.

"You can't have the answer to every what if," he said gently. Her breath washed over his skin, one of the few sensations in the dark. His back was still throbbing, but much less so, or perhaps he was ignoring it again. Annabeth smelled like citrus and something like the ocean. Or maybe that was just the open portholes, letting the sea breeze in. He could hardly tell, anymore.

"But I'm supposed to," she said. "I'm supposed to be the planner, and you're supposed to be the hero. It's just how it is."

"So?" Percy asked, pulling her closer. "We've spent our whole lives defying stereotypes. Hell, Annabeth, I was supposed to die. It was, like, preordained by the Fates. I think it's my turn to have the plan for a little bit." It was. It was his responsibility, all of this, because it was all his fault. He had to.

"I can't let you," she whispered. No. No. No. He couldn't let her take responsibility.

"Let's make a deal," he offered, moving his hand to her chin. His back twinged in pain as he ran his thumb over her lips. But it was his fault. He would have to sacrifice to fix it. Percy let the pain wash through him, spiking up his spine and through his skull, feeling like someone had taken a hammer to his eyes. He'd do anything for Annabeth.

Annabeth's eyebrows rose and she bit her lip. "What sort of deal?"

"Let's switch places," he offered, meeting her eyes. "You can be the crazy hero for a while- not that you weren't always the hero- and I'll be the planner." Percy kissed her forehead gently, pulling her tight.

"I could go for that, if not for the fear the world would self-destruct around us," she offered. She smiled and he felt like all his pain had washed away.

"I could go for that, so long as it's you and me left standing," said Percy. He could tell she was rolling her eyes, even in the near pitch black.

"You're hopeless," she giggled, kissing his nose.

"But you love me anyway," he returned, kissing her cheek, then her nose, then the corner of her lips.

"For reasons I haven't figured out yet." Annabeth sighed, tugging on the corner of the sheets. The cloth tugged on the edge of his bandages, but he barely felt anything in his bubble with her.


	8. The Sins for Which We Pay

Liberty or Death Chapter Eight

 _The Sins For Which We Pay_

* * *

"Happy one week escape of certain death day!" Percy said, smiling. He had one arm wrapped around her and the other poking her cheek. "Are you happy yet?"

"You know, most days I'm not sure if I should hit you, or hit you, or, oh wait, a third option. Hitting you," she grumbled, nestling into him. Her favorite scent, Percy's mix of salt and chocolate, like a boardwalk candy shop, was still conspicuously missing. So much was missing, although she tried so hard to be fine. Annabeth hated whiney people. Normally, the ones that complained the most had the least reason to do so, in her opinion. And, of course, she'd proven her opinion over the last seventeen years. Percy rarely complained, except to annoy her. Her father, on the other hand, always had some daily issue that he made sure the family knew about. Even the other demigods weren't exempt- Piper, before they'd fallen, had spent a fair amount of time extolling the lack of virtues of the life of a millionaire's daughter. Annabeth had put up with it before, but although she hadn't spent much time with the rest of the crew recently, she knew she'd have a much more irritated reaction to the same words now.

It wasn't as if there was nothing problematic about Piper's life, and Annabeth was hardly going to make everyone focus on her issues only. They were far too numerous, anyway. But still.

"Thinking?" Percy asked, scooting upright slightly.

Annabeth sighed. He'd left a cold spot by her hip, where they weren't pressed together anymore. "Yeah. Just, I guess, about how everything's changing. We're getting closer to the final battle, anyway. And I don't want to be there and have everyone treat us like glass like they are now." _Oops_ , she thought. _So much for not complaining._ Percy's finger disappeared from her side, where he'd been attempting to taser her. His casual smile softened, wilting at the edges and relaxing his entire face.

"Well, I mean, to be fair we've hardly been alive. Like, I'm alright, yeah? You know that, and I know that-"

"A giant set of gashes is not _alright!_ " she hissed, resisting the urge to break the peaceful atmosphere.

He sighed again. "But I'm walking and talking and kissing you."

"No you-" But Percy used the strategical advantage of having an arm wrapped around his girlfriend to pull her close enough to kiss, firmly, for half a heartbeat.

"Yeah I am. Anyway, we need to stop hiding. Go fight stuff. Make some speeches, or battle plans, in your case, since we all know I'm the better swordsman." Annabeth groaned as the teasing grin returned.

Putting on an outrageous pout, she gave him her best puppy impression. "But, Percy, how could you possibly suggest the cruel idea that your horribly injured but stunningly gorgeous girlfriend stop spending her entire day with you? I'd simply _die."_

"Oh no, you aren't getting out of my sight."

* * *

Four hours later, Percy was indeed right. They'd emerged from the comfortable bed in the infirmary, leaving behind the stench of anesthetic and nightmares, instead trading for a view of the ocean and the thoroughly untidy deck of the _Argo II_.

Annabeth had wandered aimlessly for a while, clutching a mop and dragging a bucket of soapy water. The weight of the full bucket made the injury on her right arm twinge every once in a while, but she wasn't about to admit that to anyone. Not Percy, who true to his word was trailing about behind her, or Jason, not-so-stealthily hidden on the aft observation deck. She was sure he was there to report to her worried friends. Piper had come up multiple times to ask if she needed anything, and Hazel perched on the bow rail, occasionally peeking at her and her activities. She didn't necessarily want them looking after her every move, but she supposed she did appreciate the thought.

As she turned back around to head towards the fore hatch for a quick break, the sun glinting off the deck was momentarily blinding. The humidity of the Mediterranean coast had soaked her to the bone, leaving her with damp curls twisting into ringlets around her face. A trail of water depicted the shaky route she'd taken across the deck, only rarely actually mopping. Everything was horribly vibrant, surrounding her in a scene of shimmering bronze and deep mahogany decking, the blue ocean almost fluttering in the bright light.

With a deep breath, she inhaled everything around her. The sea, the faint scent of Jason's sunscreen and a basket of fruit Leo seemed to have collected, now distinctly lacking any hint of freshness. Her reverie ended as she caught a whiff of Leo himself, who smelled as if he'd recently been making very good friends with Festus's leaky ear.

"Gods, you smell awful," she commented as she passed by his spinning chair, slowly swinging from side to side in the ADHD attempt to entertain himself. Leo gaped indignantly.

"There's an ocean over there, my friend. I suggest you jump in," Percy sniggered, coming up behind him.

"Yeah, well, you-" Leo sputtered, sparking.

Annabeth raised an eyebrow. "Setting yourself on fire generally makes smells worse, not better. I should know, I had about two weeks' worth of personal experience." _At least he doesn't smell like sulfur,_ she reminded herself. That would have been a little too close to home.

Leo was still spouting half-formed words when a shadow fell over him. Annabeth looked up to see a playful spout of water hovering just above his head.

Her heart jolted as it fell.

* * *

The water drained over the side in openings made for the purpose, leaving only a temporary glimmering trail on the deck. She could hear the sound of rushing water as thousands of gallons drained into the ocean underneath her feet. She breathed out, raspy and hoarse as she slowly uncoiled from within herself.

"Annabeth-" Percy spoke quietly, eyes wide.

She held out her hand to ward him off. "Please. Don't." Heat built up behind her eyes, but she refused to cry. Faintly, Annabeth registered Leo, dripping wet and slackjawed turning away and muttering something about things to be fixed. Almost of her legs' own accord she stumbled towards the rail. Right now she had to be away from him.

Percy seemed to get the message, retreating silently and hovering just on the edges of her vision, Jason standing awkwardly behind him, poised to pat him on the shoulder but obviously unsure.

Annabeth instantly regretted sending Percy away, knowing the expression he would have, one she'd seen a few times before _it_ but far, far more often in two weeks than in six or seven years. But it hurt _so much_ watching the water fall.

 _What a hypocrite_ , she scolded herself. _You want to be strong again but you can't handle a half second of seeing the power that's protected you for ages._

She straightened from the rail and steadied herself. Every eye on deck had focused on her and she couldn't stand it. Annabeth had tried to convince herself for so long that she wasn't weak.

Had she been wrong?

* * *

At dinner (only the second she had actually attended), everyone carefully avoided her. Even Percy was distant, which made her partially furious with him, but moreso with herself. In a few words she'd managed to send away her best friend and the entire crew. And on top of that, guilt crawled through her throat, telling her insistently how selfish and awful she was. Couldn't she be brave for a few minutes? Why did she have to hurt Percy even more? What had he done, anyway? It _was_ all her fault. After all, she'd been the one stupid enough to not cut the cords. The one entirely responsible for falling into the pits of hell and sending the entire quest off-course to save her. It was Annabeth's fault that Percy, smart and honest and sweet and funny, had fallen, and what was his mother going to say?

What if he had died? What would she have said to Sally when they returned? _I'm sorry, I was horribly selfish and stupid and your son fell into Tartarus to try to save me and he died._

But the final burning question as she poked at her plate remained: Without him, would she have survived?

* * *

 _Hey guys! I'm back. I'm so sorry for the delay. I'm actually quite proud, I finished this chapter at 8:18 on the 18_ _th_ _of August- Happy Birthday, Percy! Let me know what you thought of the chapter, please! I might dredge up one of the many little romantic, gooey Percabeth one-shots in honor of their anniversary, so if you're reading this go check!_

 _Thank you all for being so patient and sticking with me!_


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